Strategies to Name and Describe Your Emotions Outside of Therapy
Published on Wednesday, Nov 6, 2024
Written by Sam Gardow, Psychotherapist, MSW, LGSW
Sometimes our emotions are really intense. Therapy is a good place to process those feelings, but what happens if we feel really intense emotions and are not able to see our therapist right away? One way to make emotions feel more manageable is to name them. So, when we start to feel big feelings, we can pause to ask ourselves what sensations, images, feelings, and thoughts are arising. Here are some questions you can ask yourself that can help you observe or identify any sensations in your body:
Starting at your head, does your face feel flushed or hot? Do your eyes feel watery or do they burn? Does your jaw feel clenched or tight?
Now move to your neck and chest. Does your neck feel tight, tense or achy?
Does your heart feel like it’s beating really fast? Do you feel short of breath?
Does it feel hard to fully fill your lungs with air? Does your chest feel tight or does your heart feel like it’s aching or heavy?
Now move to your shoulders. Do they feel tense, tight, or achy?
What about your stomach. Does it feel like you have butterflies? Are you nauseous?
Once you observe what you are feeling in your body, observe if any thoughts or images are arising. It can be helpful to write these down in a private place. Then, you can start to identify what emotion you might be feeling. Here are some common ways we feel emotions in our bodies:
Anxiety: Lump in your throat, churning stomach, trembling, dry mouth, sweating, shortness of breath, feeling weak or tense.
Anger: Hot or flushed face, clenched fists or jaw, shaking, jerky body movements.
Joy: Feeling of lightness in your body, warm heart, “butterflies” in your stomach. Sadness: Feeling of “heartache,” heaviness in your body, tightness in chest, fatigue, tears or watery eyes, lump in your throat
Shame: Hot face, lowered eyes, sunken body posture.
Fear: Dizziness, weakness in legs, goosebumps, fast breathing and heart rate.
A lot of times, we notice emotions like happy, sad, afraid, angry, or disgusted first. But there is often another emotion underneath that might be more accurate in describing how we feel. For example, you may feel angry at your partner for an argument you had, but once you observe and reflect on how your body is feeling and what thoughts are coming up, you may discover that underneath the anger you’re actually sad or hurt.
Your emotions, thoughts, and body are closely intertwined and significantly influence one another. Emotions trigger several sensations in the body which allows us to stay safe. Noticing how your body feels and identifying your emotions can help you stay physically and mentally healthy because identifying how you feel is the first step in moving through any emotion.
Activity
Even when we aren’t feeling intense emotions, it can be helpful to practice describing what different emotions feel like. This can help us “build the muscle” of identifying our emotions when we are having big feelings. To do this activity, pick an emotion from the wheel above and follow these prompts:
– What is the emotion you identified?
– Can you draw a picture of that emotion?
– What kind of thoughts might you have if you are feeling that emotion?
– What would that emotion feel like in your body?
– Are there any memories you associate with that emotion?
– What are some ways that help you feel better when you feel that emotion?